You can't make this stuff up

so a lot of people call MetroPCS ghetto (Ghettro PCS). i mean, most of the phones they offer are very cheap quality, and kind of slow sometimes, but as far as service, i've never had any dropped calls or weak signals. but here's where the problem comes in, recycled numbers. i get "wrong number" calls/texts alllll the the time. i understand maybe when i first get the phone with a new number, i may get contacted by people looking for the person who had that number right before me. but i've had this number for 4 months now and i still get random calls and most of them are ghetto:

ring ring...
Me: Hello
Other end: yea uh Shaniqua dere?

every time someone mistakenly calls, they're looking for someone different, and i'm like damn, how many ppl had this number?sometimes it'll ring and i pick up and it's a recording in Spanish. anyways, today i got text msgs from some guy looking for a girl named tanisha. at first i thought it was hilarious, because it was so poorly written, but as they kept flooding in i started to feel sympathetic towards this guy as he was trying to apologize to her. here's everything he wrote [not censored, except for his name]:

You dont give me chance to let me tell u how things was goin on wit my life but ima try say it in my text tanisha sorry that i played with your heart N im sorry for not calln you but went down to va a cuple weeks ago just wanted to get away from everyone to get my mind rite n away from my family they Wont me to do wit they want just wanted to c if they cant do wit out me i realy dont have no1 in my corner to talk to they think i know everything n i Can do everything i try but i cant its hard but i still try dont wantna let anyone down a man is soppose to do what he has to do 4 his family thats wht My grandmother told me but none of those let downs dont have anything on yours i was thinkn over n over out of all people how can i do that to You i kno things are not gona be rite back the same but i will as wait as long as it takes 4 the day it do wht im tryna say is that i cant lose your Heart to anyone while im still liven i will realy be goin thou Hard times just sum things i had to tell u that i couldnt hold in anymore i love you tanisha not tryna hold u up hope u enjoy your birthday ps love Alwayz r***** f****** sorry boo

this is like the sweetest ghetto love story i've ever heard. so me being as cooky as i am, i call the guy just to let him know that he's sending the messages to the wrong number. he's putting forth this deep apology that tanisha needs to hear! lol then 10 minutes later, homeboy calls back and is like "yo, so what should i do?" and i'm like "what do you mean?" and he's like "was that sweet what i said?" and i was like "yea i dont even know you and i was like 'awww'. she needs to hear this".
RF: "but she always tryna play me tho".
Me: "you have to try. you need to find her and tell her how you feel. everything you sent me, you have to tell her".
RF: "i dont know. i'm startin to feel like it wasnt meant".
Me: "if she plays you again, maybe it's time to move on, but you have to at least try".

what am i doing when i get home from work? i'm on the phone giving relationship advice to some random Philly bol. My life is so random and entertaining and i love every second of it.